OUR FEARS SHOULD NOT RULE OUR ART

Every Artist was first an amateur.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self Doubt by Nathan Florence

This quote seems so obvious and simple, but it truly is not.  When one is contemplating showing ones work and taking the first steps to share ones inner most feeling and self expression with the world the doubts can be so great they can be crippling for some.  Being an arts teacher nurtured the seeds of creativity in young people.  It is like seeing a spark in a fire, fanning the spark and tending it until the fire lights.  But humans are not so simple, they are full of doubt, insecurity and indecision.  Our inner critic will sabotage our every effort.  The list of things we can say to our selves is endless and the methods we can enlist to rationalize why we cannot succeed is also non ending. We are even adept at allowing ourselves to succeed to a certain point and then find a way to fail so we can bow to our inner critic and say"you were right I was no good all along, I was found out!".  All artist think they are unique to themselves, that all of this doubt, criticism and self sabotage is our struggle alone, but unfortunately we are not that special, it is common across the board with all arts.  The singer Barbara Streisand is paralyzed with fear to the point she cannot perform and yet she is one of our most talented singers ever.  The writer who looks at a blank page and cannot write after many best sellers.  The actor who freezes and can't remember their lines.  Taking the next step and the next step that brings us success is like walking a tightrope with every move a balance.  Reading Juliette Cameron's "The Artist Way" or the War of Art are good choices that offer understanding in how to fight this inner critic and our self doubt.  I have to thank one of our favorite artists at Rabbit Moon Studio, Nathan Mark Phillips for his recommendation of the War of Art.  It is a gem of a book, a small diamond of truth facing and as Mark says "a kick in the butt".

from google image for education only

 It makes us face up to our rationalizations and self sabotage for what they are and ask us to quit indulging in such self pity and wallowing in our own self flagellation.  But to get to the business of work and getting the work done.  And the process is not easy, in a way, it is like inner therapy and coming to terms with oneself.  But each step taken and with hard work and courage, then the success is enormous.  I have watched Mark go through this and it is amazing and it works, for he has evolved like the small spark of fire, that has been nurtured and fanned to a full fire, but Mark was the nurturer, he faced his inner demons and slew them.  And now he is his own hero and we can be our own as well, but we must do the work-go into the studio everyday and do something until we do the work we have always wanted.  If you are guilty of self doubt, and I do not know any artist that is not, and if you sabotage yourself from succeeding then look up these two books, seek out a mentor, and start the process of facing your own fears and inner critic until the inner voices subside and the work becomes your voice.  I wish you good creating my friends, I truly do.  For I too face these doubts, self sabotage and inner critics.

The Doubting

If you read Julia Cameron's books on artists and writers, The Artists Way or the book the War of Art by.....Then you will read about the artists block and the many ways artists block and sabotage their own creativity and art projects.  It is inherent in the process.  "I will never make the deadline I might as well quit", "I shouldn't have put that there and now it is to late", "this is no good, no one will like it", "this is no good, it is the crappiest piece of art I have ever done", "why did I ever think I could do art", "maybe everyone will find out I am really no good and the last award was just a fluke", .......it goes on and on-a thousand negative thoughts that are meant to sabotage your efforts all manufactured by your mind.  Then there are the delaying tactics, I need to clean the house(when you know you don't), I need to wash my hair, I need to take go to the store, I need to watch paint dry(I threw that in for the ridiculousness of it) and so on.  Then we often enable friends and family members to sabotage us by asking leading questions, "don't you think this work is a piece of crap?", "this is not the best work I have ever done", or when we choose a family member or friend who we know doesn't appreciate our style of work and then ask their opinion, in that way we subtly invite negative remarks to sabotage our own feelings of doubt to re-enforce our own need to block ourselves.  

This is a dangerous phase because even the best of artists and the most experienced of creative people will fall pray to its temptations.  If you think Leonardo Da Vinci or Michelangelo or Manet or Sargent did not have these devils you would be wrong, all you would need do is to read their biographies and you would find the same struggle all artists have gone through over time.  Van Gogh is one of the most dramatic of examples, his mental illness magnified his struggles and doubts.  But the point here is it is a step in the artist process as well as any other, and one we must all weather through to get to the other end of success in our work.  

Last night my doubts began and my mind filled with negative thoughts about my piece.  Much the same as I wrote above...this is a crappy piece of work not worthy of my effort, they are going to think it is ridiculous and look at it and know right away I am a failure, the cows are the wrong color, I should have glued the evil eye charm down I should have tied it, shit I got glue on the plastic now the piece is ruined, the top works, but the bottom belongs to another piece, I am not conveying the theme Home,  I started in one direction and ended up in another maybe that is too confusing, I can't enter this and show it hundreds of people, and on and on and on.  

Then at some point the doubts quiet down if you stare them down and restore confidence in yourself.  Ah, if I put this here or it really does look good, that flows better than I was thinking, the blue cows with added lettering in gold work, I have put in many elements, but it is a conceptual piece and I want people to think, and in the end I realize I must do the work for myself and  create for myself..how others perceive it is their own business.  Andy Warhol said it best, just do art and let others figure it out, but the art must get done. 

I am a Surrealist at heart, it took me half of my art lifetime to understand that, it is an intellectual, conceptual way I work.  I put many subconscious triggers throughout ever work, each to be interpreted in a variety of ways by the person viewing them.  So I know from the outset my work will be viewed differently by the experiences a person has in their lives when they view my work.  For example if I put a snake skin in a work, some people may thing evil or danger or the shedding means getting rid of the old to be born anew, new life or many other meanings.  So much depends on our experiences, our education, our culture, our age, our childhoods, and so many other things.  The next time you view a piece of art, whether conceptual or not....there is always an intent the artist is trying to convey to you, even when you think they are not, take time with the work, let it seep in to your senses, and then open your mind to all the images and possibilities that come.  That is what the artists, the creator would want. 

And for the artist who are experiencing the doubting phase I say weather through, it is only one of the steps, but it is necessary to go throughout the tunnel to get to the light.

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best.  It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough-that we should try again.  Julia Cameron, Artist's Way

google image

Being a teacher, and especially an art teacher, teaches you a lot about human behavior.  In a classroom with hundreds of students a week, I would see every learning style and emotional approach possible to a lesson.  Some people are quick, and make their best effort and then that is it for them, others are slow and methodical thinking out and puzzling along the way, and others will stare at a blank piece of paper unable to make a mark because they have failed in their mind before they had even started.  All artist and all learners have obstacles and self sabotage techniques we employ.  Some come from childhood, some due to a fear of success, and some because we just can't ever feel good enough about ourselves. Julia Cameron speaks to that in all her books.  She, herself, is a writer, but she speaks in a way that is applicable to all artists.  I highly recommend all of her books.  I have found areas that I sabotage myself that I was not even aware of, but most evident when I really looked at myself.  I can be the grand procrastinator, thinking I will get to it, and then time and time goes by and I haven't.  Read her books and you many find your own obstacles to success.  
Perfectionism is possibly one of the worst obstacles we throw in our way because it requires us to always feel we are never good enough, never acceptable unless everything is absolutely perfect.  It is the flaws, the imperfection that allow growth and make us more human.  In the Middle East kilim weavers will always have an area called an abash...it is an area that is not perfect, so we know it is real, not machine made.  It actually can make a carpet more valuable. We should all have an abash to prove to ourselves we are not robots, we are capable of growth and can accept something less that perfect.  It is in our imperfection we find our humanity and our greatness.

TRUSTING THE CREATIVE PROCESS

The Creative process is a surrender not a control.
Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way

Gaudi            Photo by Elizabeth Gordon

I cannot tell you how many times as a teacher and as an artist this advice comes into play.  Elementary students were wonderful at being creative in Kindergarten and first grade, but not long after came the x out's and doubt.  Adult students are even much worse, the fear and self doubt of doing art is so great, it causes intense anxiety for many people.  Even practiced artists that have been trained to strictly face periods of not letting go and their work becomes stale and staid.  It is almost like being in a zone, like runners get, a meditative state where one consciously lets go and and goes with the flow without doubt and judgement of ones work...it is hard to explain to students and other beginning artists.  And it is equally hard to tell people who want to do art, that until they do relinquish that control, their art will not achieve what aspire to.  There is a trusting of self and something beyonds ones self that is an unknown factor...but trust one must, and then the whole creative process just flows.  It is kind of like a free dive from a high dive, one jumps and trusts the water is below.  But it is not as scary as it seems, it is actually enjoyable once one learns the process...beyond enjoyable really...addictive and exciting and strangely peaceful.  Dive, you will flow....

SOUTH COASTAL GEORGIA, NEW IMAGES

photo by elizabeth Gordon

NEW EXPERIENCES BRING NEW THOUGHTS,

NEW THOUGHTS BRING NEW IDEAS,

NEW IDEAS BRING NEW ART!

Travel alway brings out a new awareness and freshness for me.  Images, smells, sights, sounds that are unfamiliar awaken my senses and then the inner artist comes alive.  Julia Cameron calls it an artist date...one you take with yourself.  I highly advise it...get out go somewhere new, travel a bit, learn a different way, take a fresh path....enjoy!

elizabeth gordon

elizabeth gordon

Julia Cameron on Attention and Creativity

Julia Cameron on Creativity and artists blocks

photo by elizabeth gordon

photo by elizabeth gordon

photo by elizabeth gordon

photo by elizabeth gordon

 "People frequently believe the creative life is grounded in fantasy.  The more difficult truth is creativity is grounded in reality, in particular the focused, the well observed, or the specifically imagined.  Very often a creative block manifest itself as an addiction to fantasy or to "worry".  Rather than working or living in the now, we spin our wheels and indulge of could have.  One of the greatest misconceptions of the artist life is that involves great swathes of aimlessness of attention.  Attention is a way to connect and heal.  ...More than anything attention is an act of connection.  Our focused attention is critical to filling the well.  We need to encounter our life experience, not ignore them. "
I could quote her whole book on Inspirations from the Artists Way, but lets start with these thoughts.  
I watched this little wren build her nest with such skill and determination I could not but help admire her work.  This sign Scriptura is in a shopping strip mall in Metairie/New Orleans area this summer.  She collected bits of brightly colored string and mardi gras beads and sticks and leaves....neatly tucking them around and into the giant advertising lettering above the store.  She was relentless, trip after trip until she had a work of art.  Her attention was direct and clear...she had a purpose to achieve with skill and love...simple, direct, and an act of complete attention to a simple act.  I watched for a hour or so with great amazement.  If we were to learn to do this in our lives and art...what peace, what love, what success we would have.

"As an artist, I must be very careful to surround myself with people who nurture my artist-not people who try to overly domesticate it for my own good.  Certain friendships will kick off my artistic imagination and others will deaden it."
  Julia Cameron / Meditations from the Artist's Way.

Asheville, North Carolina   River Art District     photo by elizabeth gordon

Perfectionism in Art Continued....

To the perfectionist there is always room for improvement. The perfectionist calls this humility. In reality it is egotism. It is pride that makes us want to write the perfect script, paint a perfect painting, perform a perfect monologue. Perfectionism is not the quest for the best. It is a pursuit for worst of ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will be good enough-that we should try again. No, we should not.

Quote by Julia Cameron/Inspirations/Meditations from the Artists Way